Dear Red,
I have a cat named Phyllis. She has this thing where when she's eating, she suddenly will stop
and start to scratch at the floor while she's eating. Then, she'll walk around the house scratching the floor,
the wall, the couch, you name it. What is going on??? Signed Concerned Cat Mom'
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Dear Concerned Cat Mom:
It's ok, dontcha don't worry bout that there cat. Phyllis is exhibiting normal feline behavior I call Feline Stink-A-Rama Circus Syndrome. While it may sound scary and like a horrible sexually transmitted disease of some sort, it's almost never harmful, not to the cat anyway.'
I can imagine your scenario went something like this. You let Phyllis in from outside where she has been happily getting humped in erotic games of let's spay and play around in the middle of the street. Right so far? Phyllis then came home full blast to let you know about her score and demanding FOOD.
You went to the cabinet got some food, filled kitteh's bowl and watched as she settled in to have a feline feasto. While you're looking at your phone, you hear a "ssssssssssssssss" sound like air being slowly let out of a yellow rubber ducky shaped Dr. Pepper bottle. The sound came suspiciously from Phyllis' direction. The cat stops, begins to lick its paw thoughtfully, then suddenly stops, and starts staring at the wall. Her paw reaches out and begins to paw at the floor like she just left a tree truck of a turd in her litter box and was attempting to cover it up to stench the stink. PeeeeeYUUUUU.'
Oh, but that wasn't it, was it? She then walked around the house pawing the floor in various places on the floor. By the couch, under the table, in the bathroom, IN the bath tub, and eventually ended up sitting next to an open window as if nothing happened.So my dear Concerned Cat Mom, what you have experienced is also known as Derpy Flatulancy Derangement Syndrome. When a cat eats, the stomach expands and well... it you know... kinda presses on that area where they... * cough * where they shit. When that happens, they can...........
**** F A R T ****
Capiche? Your cat FARTED, and continued to fart while walking around the house. Every time she stopped she farted, eventually filling the entire house with enough methanic bubbly ale to blow it up faster than a teenage boy with a blow up doll. Hence, the cat sat by the window GASPING FOR BREATH!
You, my dear Concerned Cat Lady, shouldn't fear this behavior as it's just another way that the evil tiger demons from hell torture us. While this affliction is curious, not really dangerous except for the smell, and actually kinda cute, be sure she's receiving a high quality food that reduce the flatulance so their ordeals will be minimized. I wish you and Phyllis all the best. Good luck!
Love,
Red.
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Editor's Note: This information is not intended to treat any disease or to assist in a heart transplant for a cat. It does however, explain the smell. Also, the photo is not the cat known as Phyllis, it is Alani, the cat of a friend of mine. Isn't she cute?
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