Phew

A quick rundown of the weekend:

On Friday I drove down to Liz's. The journey was as boring as ever. Liz mentioned that Ricey had invited her to a party in Leicester. We bought a bottle of Bailey's to mark Liz's final day of being able to ingest dairy products (she's vegan again now) and settled down to watch Bernard and the Genie once again; it's a timeless classic.

In the morning we went shopping and sorted some stuff out. Then in the late afternoon we set off for Leicester. Liz navigated flawlessly and the only place we went wrong is in the middle of Leicester where we ended up on a bus-only route. We dropped the car off at Ricey's and went inside for a beer and to shout at stupid gameshow contestants and stupid gameshow hosts.

We went to Bruce's place for the party, taking our bottle of Bailey's with us. There we drank Bailey's and wine and ate lots and lots of delicious vegetarian foods. Kerni had made muffins which were delicious, although my brain struggled to cope with the idea of the savoury Carrot and Coriander muffins. After we had played "pass the arse", a rather silly mutation of the classic game "pass the parcel" we all ended up outside listening to Bruce and sideshow Matt playing guitar and singing completely out of synch; which was entertaining.

This eventually mutated into singing without guitars. After a few hours of this I was starting to feel a little more sober. In fact I reached that dangerous stage where I am very nearly sober and have no inhibitions. If ever there is a time for me to make a fool of myself it is when I am in that halfway house stage.

I sang.

Yes I know I don't sing or dance, but that night I sang. I'm not quite sure what came over me, whether it was the alcohol in my system or the great atmosphere, but I ended up singing "Sweet Transvestite" from the Rocky Horror Picture Show Liz tells me it was a very good rendition, however it has been very firmly locked into the vaults in my memory labelled "too embarrassing to contemplate within the next 50 years - DO NOT OPEN".

At around four in the morning we decided that the neighbours had probably had enough of us and so we all went inside, and then we all decided to naff off and get some rest. We headed back to Ricey's and went to sleep on the floor at about five.

By nine I was awake again with severe pain all over from awkwardly on the floor and a minor headache from the alcohol my body had suffered. Liz woke up too, so we decided to raid Ricey's DVD collection.

An entire DVD of Black Books and many many episodes of Father Ted later we decided it was time to go for a walk to burn some of the unholy number of calories we had eaten the previous night.

Our walk took us down the canal in Leicester until we got so thirsty that we had to walk down some huge road in search of a shop to get a drink from. We headed back to Ricey's again, stopping in Safeways to get some food where Ricey and Liz kept vanishing in different directions. I realised just how tired I was when I misread "Leicester" on an advert on the noticeboard as "Lobster Sex". No kidding.

We drove home not long after we got back where I seemed adament to try and jump every red light in Leicester. I think it was just tiredness, but I soon got back in the zone again.

When we got back to Liz's we decided to go to Blockbuster and hire Duets. That's the first time I'd ever been to a Blockbuster shop and I don't particularly want to repeat the experience if I can avoid it. The place was full of chavs who didn't know how to queue and who stood right in the middle of the aisles making it impossible to move. In the end we hired Love Actually too as Liz wanted to watch it again.

I drove back again at about 5 today and was infuriated by the number of morons driving at 25-30 Mph in 60 Mph zones. It seemed every moron was on the roads today, but hey it could have been worse. I basked in the glory of not having to skid off the road at 60 Mph to fan my engine down to a sensible temperature. By which I mean the car didn't overheat. \o/

Now I need some dinner as I am HUNGREH!