Posters, VPN, Cash, Roofing...

Had my major project poster session today. It was a nightmare fiasco. I arrived with loads of time to spare (I am always either ridiculously early or stupidly late - never right on time) and so had time to sort things out before going in. The whole thing was very cramped and not particularly pleasant. I was somewhat glad I got there early though, as a friend of mine came dashing in with 5 minutes to spare before it all kicked off, having woken up only 5 minutes before that!

I was standing by my posters for about 2 hours before someone finally wanted to talk to me about it. And who was it? Adrian Shaw: My project supervisor who already knows all about it. *Sigh* It was another half an hour before the second lecturer came to see it.

Before either of them arrived I made a bet with one of my friends that I would have Dave Price looking at mine. Somehow I just knew it. And yes, sure enough, Dave Price was the second and final person to look at my posters. Adrian had said, "yep, looks good to me and you defend the project well: You shouldn't have any trouble from Dave". But when Dave arrived it was a different story. He attacked my presentation of the posters, he said it was an "interesting" idea with a puzzled expression on his face in that tone of voice that suggests it's a bollocks idea. He suggested it was a waste of time because there are web browsers which are command line based. He asked how I planned to measure whether the project was a success or not. How does ANYONE measure if their project is a success or not?! "If it works.", "If it's useful". These are all vague terms. Anyway, in short, I don't think he was too impressed.

And where does that leave me? Wondering whether I am wasting my time on a bogus major project that isn't worth the paper its printed on, putting up with serious financial problems, working all hours god sends and lying awake at night too stressed to sleep. That's where it leaves me.

After the poster session I went to the Sun Lounge to calm down with a bit of therapeutic geeking. The VPN still works, thankfully. Somehow I had a funny feeling it would break if I so much as breathed near it. I worked out that Windows couldn't connect to my home machine, but I was able to make a web connection because all the packets were going through the web-cache. D'oh. Of course. So that's it, then. Everything that I could do in Windows on the laptop I can now do in Linux on the laptop (with the simple exclusion of "Buzz" - the music authoring software I use).

Eventually it was getting close to 5pm so I decided I had better use what was left of the day to go to the Union to enquire about the emergency loan that the woman in the Student Finance Office had told me to apply for. When I got there I couldn't find any kind of "finance office" and the office that looked most promising was empty. Eventually a councellor emerged from her room having just finished talking to a student and asked if I had an appointment. I explained why I was there and she explained that the wonderous loan the woman in the Student Finance Office had told me about was, in fact, up to £20. Right. Because that's really going to help with the rent. I explained the situation and she seemed genuinely concerned (unlike in the Student Finance Office where you aren't even given an opportunity to explain the circumstances surrounding your poverty) and so she made me an appointment for tomorrow morning. She's going to allow me to apply for the loan of £20 (woo) and she's going to talk to the Student Finance Office to see what she can get out of them.

If they can't get me some money, though, then I'm going to be in serious trouble. This morning I received a letter from the bank.

Clearly they are keen to talk to me. Never before have the bank offered me a reversed-charges call. On top of that I am due to lose my computing and library access on Friday, and the University are going to evict me soon if I don't sort out my rent.

So, I should talk to my parents, right? Yeah. Of course. Except I got an email from my Dad saying that THEY are having financial difficulties as they are having to have their roof replaced. The whole thing has to come off and a whole new one put on as the current one is leaking so badly it's causing structural damage. On top of that my Mum still hasn't paid back any of the money she borrowed for her new car after she wrote the last one off and they're looking after a bloody horse too.

It's getting to me now. It really is getting to me deep down and I don't know how much more I can handle. It took me hours to get to sleep last night. It was over an hour before I could finally relax: I hadn't realised but near enough every muscle in my body was tense.

Still it's all worth it, right? 4 years of hell and at the end I get... A piece of A4 paper. Well that makes it all alright then.