Dear DVLA and The Post Office,

I would like to tax my vehicle please. I have a cheque for £110, as requested. I have a signed document that says that I own the car. I have my insurance details and I have a valid MOT certificate. Last year I forgot to send off one little bit of one form, but you tell me it's not a problem, so why the fuck won't you let me tax my fucking car?

Why is it when I ring you, you force me to listen to hundreds of automated menu messages? Then when I ask you where my local branch is, why do you put me through to a voice-recognition system which can not recognise a thing I say to it?

Why should I have to spend all of my fucking day ringing you? If you want my money so bad, why do you refuse to let me make the payment and be done with the whole thing? Is it just that you want to issue an automatic fine? Why won't you just let me talk to a human being? Why won't the Post Office accept my documents?

For god's sakes, please just give me a tax disc.

Matthew Lowe